The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
