it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
