honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
