Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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