you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize