so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
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