Welp...herpes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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