is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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