wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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