Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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