walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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