Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
