There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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