Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
