why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
