haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
