? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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