Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
