If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She bit a glass in half.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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