Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
