I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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