just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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