i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
