Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
