oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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