Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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