Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
