You made me cry and you don't even care
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
