Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
