Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
