Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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