dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
