cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
