So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
