wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
then he tried to convert me to islam
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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