C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
