Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize