She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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