Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
