If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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