I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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