aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize