Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
