I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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