I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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