TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize