Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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