his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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