i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
do herpes really smell.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
