So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
