Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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