Little spoons don't ask big questions
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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