my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
