She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
