Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
