I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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