I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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