thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
