I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
