seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
