Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
please come you make the beer taste better
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
So. Much. Porn.
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