The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Randomize