Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
